One of the GREATEST THINGS about Philadelphia’s LOUDEST BAND is that they sound like NO ONE ELSE you have ever heard. Most bands that you SEE LIVE, will be told they sound like THE STROKES, ARCTIC MONKEYS, LED ZEPPELIN ETC. In this writer’s DOCUMENTED 50,000 MINUTES OF MUSIC LISTENED TO IN 2025, I found that no other band sounds like them.
This allows for the band to COMPLETELY SURPRISE AUDIENCES AND VENUES with shows full of UNBRIDLED AND SHEAR PASSION FOR PLAYING. One such surprise to me, was the use of “OTHERSIDE” a shoe gazey experimental FAN FAVORITE that hasn’t been played live since 2024. The band kicked off their show with it before HOODWINKING the audience by using it as an INSTRUMENTAL JAM. PROFESSIONALS like the FOO FIGHTERS OR THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS do that. Not bands playing for tips and drinks. This move immediately locked in the fans. It showed that FREELANCE SWEATPANTS are looking to prove that they AREN’T JUST HERE TO PLAY, they want to conquer! They want to be a HOUSEHOLD NAME like those aforementioned bigger artists. The only way to do that, CONTINUOUSLY SURPRISE THE FANS WITH THEIR LIVE SHOWS!
The fans packed in the small but AWESOME DIVE BAR, WITH A DECORE THAT WOULD MAKE ALICE COOPER FEEL AT HOME on a cold winters night. The only thing KEEPING THEM WARM, was the high voltage, HIGH ENERGY FREELANCE SWEATPANTS MASTERCLASS OF A PERFORMANCE TAKING PLACE IN FRONT OF THEM.
The band labeled the gig as a warm up to a PROMINENT NEW YEARS EVE ROCKTACULAR. However, judging from the energy emerging from the CONSHY QUARTET this may have well been THE HEADLINING SET! The band over the course of the last YEAR OF THE SWEATPANTS, has honed in their show stopping tour de force set.
KICKING THINGS OFF was a transition from the grooves of “OTHERSIDE” to the raunchy and punchy “HOLD ON” which might as well have been called HOLD YOUR ATTENTION, as no one left the bands sight from that point on.
What better song to follow a HIGH OCTANE WOMBO COMBO of tracks than “SPOOKY”. This bouncy, vibey cautionary YARN WAS A PERFECT TOUCH ADDED the bar adorned with SKULLS, GHOSTS, and when meshed together, SKHOSTS. The bar owner, JAY, absolutely ruled HELPED MAKE EVERY BAND FEEL WELCOME IN HIS YEAR ROUND DIVE THAT IS A TRIBUTE TO ALL THINGS COOL, CREEPY AND PUNK ROCK!
If the audience was feeling the chill, it wasn’t from the weather outside. It may have been FRIGHTFUL, BUT HEARING THIS BAND PLAY A ONE TWO THEIR NEWEST STREAMING RELEASES “COUCH” WAS DELIGHTFUL.
NEW MATERIAL. THE OLD STANDARD managed to WHISK OLDER PUNK BANDS IN THE CROWD back at their YOUTH RATATOUILLE STYLE. The songs fast paced energy reminded them of THE STOOGES AND THE RAMONES IN THEIR HEYDAY. The blistering track featured DOM again on vocals and fingers playing so fast, he may as well HAVE WHIPPED UP THAT SNOW STORM that night.
Now that the audience was comfortable, familiar with the players assembled before them, it was time to have some fun! WITH KEITH RICHARDS having announced he is RETIRED FROM TOURING, the only blues based rock guitarist to pick up his slack is AJ DECECCO.
Like RICHARDS, AJ plays with feeling, feeling heard on the LOU REED inspired “STROKES”. His playing was so electric, the lightning in his fingers could bring have dual hand-idly revived the VELVET UNDERGROUND FRONT MAN FRANKENSTIENS MONSTER STYLE. Equally impressive was his solo on “HIT THE ROAD” which kept audiences from doing so and staying locked on the action in front of them.
The action wasn’t restricted to the band either. SEAN, ever the show man at his manic AL PACINO like unhinged stage delivery invited the crowd to participate in the sing along “GOTTA GET OUT”. He delivered several other audience participation monologues that make normal sentences feel like they’re their own band member.
The crowd pleasing “GOTTA GET OUT” made the 20+ person bar feel like LINCOLN FINANCIAL FIELD. If they can make that kind of earth shaking, booty quaking, love making noise with 20 people they truly are Philly’s loudest band.
To be Philly’s loudest rock and rollers you got to have a sound that moves the needle. These guys are developing A SOUND THAT AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, is like NO ONE ELSE I HAVE EVER HEARD.
The three YULE LOG BURNERS WARMED A COLD WINTERS NIGHT. They epitomize the bands current sound and future direction of where they are going. FUN, OPTIMISTIC AND LAID BACK SENSE OF SKEEZ defined the song “FLOOR”, which featured SEAN AND DOM doing their patented UP AND DOWN DANCE while JUSTIN, threw in his MOST CATCHY AND ADDICTIVE DRUM BEAT.
“UPSIDE DOWN” kept the FREELANCE TRAIN A ROLLING with its chugging RHYTHMS and MGUITAR CHORDS RIPPING SO FAST, YOU WOULD THINK that the train would come OFF THE TRACK. HOWEVER, the final number, the TOE TAPPING FAVORITE, “MASTER OF— I mean “ NO NAME” as SEAN gleefully called it, keeps everything grounded.
The song is often HERALDED AS THEIR BEST. For good reason, it sounds like a RADIO HIT! Replacing the bands traditional encore of “HIGH ON A PLANE” the song gets people talking about an exciting future for their SOUND.
The band RUNG OUT “NO NAME’S” final notes winning over newcomers and giving veteran fans a REASON TO KEEP COMING BACK. It may be the same show each time, BUT THE TRICK IS, THEY PLAY EVERY SHOW AS IF IT IS THEIR FIRST AND LAST. Providing showmanship, WELL REHEARSED PERFORMANCES AND A SONIC DOPAMINE RUSH THAT TRULY LETS IT BE KNOWN THAT FREELANCE SWEATPANTS IS PHILLY’s LOUDEST BAND!
This is not the LAST SHOW OF THE YEAR, it is merely THE OPENING ACT FOR A HEADLINING SLOT FOR ORTLEIBS NEW YEARS EVE ROCKTACULAR!
Special thanks: LAZER SHARKS SONG WRITING MEISTRO, JOE SIRIANNI, FREELANCES NUMBER ONE FAN, JULIE WALLER, THE BANDS BANKROLLER, ALAN DECECCO, BAR OWNER JAY, & CENTURY!